First, gather 158 single and double blade race boats, a row boat, a pedal boat, a flotilla of touring boats, stand up paddle boards and a couple traditional paddleboards. Then flip a coin.
Heads, you get 30 knot gusts, over-head wind waves and El Nino ground swell finding its way from the deep, mid-Pacific, all serving up a 50% drop out rate, more swims than a July weekend at the public pool, and enough rescues to revise the Coast Guard operations manual.
Tails, you get duck-pond flat water, 3 knots of breeze, 100% finish rate, and so slack a tide that the nearest eddy fence is on the Skagit River.

Yesterday, at the 4th annual Deception Pass Dash – the single largest muscle-powered boat race on PNW salt water – we had the latter. Over 170 racers arrived, all of whom had pre-registered, all of them early enough that the coin toss still could’ve gone either direction. And I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that MOST Dashers hope for – if not expect – some classic, mid-winter storm conditions on race day. It’s the spirit of the place – the Cape Horn of Puget Sound – especially this time of year. And it’s certainly become the spirit of the event, the only paddling and rowing race in the state where half (or more) of the field are in boats more appropriate to a circumnavigation of New Zealand’s South Island than time-trialing a 6-mile drag race.

I was in just that type of boat yesterday, Sterling Donalson’s new Grand Illusion. Sterling had asked me two or three weeks ago if I would field-test the new design for its “rapid transit” qualities. Its viability as a big boy’s rock garden-hopper, surf-lander, gear-hauler, and overall expedition survival pod are already accepted by the who’s who of PNW expedition paddlers – the Reg Lakes and George Gronseths of the world. (Heck, these guys were the boat’s test pilots and performance-tuners during the design phase). And now its rapid transit quality has indeed been established. Despite its ability to carve like a surfboard, the boat cruises easily enough to take the win in the Sea Kayak Class and finish 35th overall. With a little more time in the boat to get the outfitting and trim tuned to my weight and inseam, another minute or two could be shaved. Add in the 30-knot winds and head-high waves, and I think the Grand Illusion would’ve been laughably more competitive. (Case in point: Heather and I raced our 100-pound plywood tandem in last year’s rough-n-rowdy DPD conditions, and took 6th overall).

This year, though, Heather opted to join the inaugural and elite group of stand up paddle boarders. Seven of them took the challenge, along with two traditional (prone) paddle boarders, Don Kiesling – the original DPD course innovator – and Darrel Bednark. The Dash allowed safe passage of these challenging new classes. Darrel B. was first in, followed by Don K. then Bellingham local Beau Whitehead, the first SUP. Jeff Underwood – co-founder of the Round the Rock Mercer Island SUP race – took 2nd SUP, and Heather came in just behind him as first (and only) woman. This class is guaranteed to expand and get more and more competitive, as we’re seeing happen in every paddling center the world over.

Overall, Seattle local and Epic Kayaks and Paddles founder Greg Barton took the win, with Tyler Peterson in a rowing shell in 2nd, Wisconsin-resident Erik Borgnes taking a solid 3rd, and Bellingham locals Larry Goolsby and Shaun Sullivan finishing first tandem.

Hayden and Roberta stayed warm and toasty in the race rig…

No one’s going to look the gift-horse of a safe year and 100% finish rate in the mouth. But if you’re determined to catch the Deception Pass Dash in all its potential hurricane-like glory, keep your fingers crossed for the 2010 race and keep training! Sooner or later, it is guaranteed to be off the chain again on race day!